Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Flirty Women are RUINING Guy/Girl friendships!!!

They really are! Picture this: no drama, eating BOMB food, 1st hand honest guy advice and just hanging out...things that I love to do, but don't always get out of my friendships with other women. Sure I have some good girlfriends and we are friends because we are all low-key chill gals. But sometimes I really appreciate my guy friends, and I think they are just important to have, to the point where when I enter a new job, ward, etc. I tend to navigate towards the guys over the girls. To be honest, it does put a damper on my dating life. For the most part, they pick up on the vibe that I'm not interested in anything besides friendship right away, which is awesome because the alternative is them eventually hinting that we are just friends during a conversation we might have which is always awkward.

Image result for that space between a guy and girl friendzone
via Google

I have never once had one of my guy friends set me up with their friends which is LAME. Mostly because they are lazy. Other times because their friends are complete douche canoe's (which I can attest to). But they seem to always want me to set them up with my friends which is something I have no problem doing, as I love playing match maker :)

But hold up. HOLLLLLDDDD UP. Why, on Earth does it seem like every girl that I talk to these days has this overwhelming desire to falsely obtain that kind of relationship with every guy that they meet? Why do I have "falsely" bolded? Let me paint you a picture..

A girl who is well known by many as a flirt, decides that she just wants to just be friends with a guy. She sees the value of a platonic relationship but because of her flirtatious personality it never seems to work out. Why is this?? I think I have figured it out, and I will outline it below.

1. A friendship is built on mutual trust, openness, and respect. Most girls, by friend zoning a guy right away, have the best chances of maintaining that friendship. Those who don't quickly ruin it.

 "But, Natalie, what if I end up liking the guy later???"

First of all, where is there a rule that the friend zone has a one way door? It has been proven that the best relationships and marriages happen between two good friends. You can come out of the friend zone, whenever you want to. But to start in the zone is your best bet for healthy, lasting relationships. Some girls (who I am able to verrrrrrry easily identify) see being friends with a group of guys as a power play.

2. Imagine you are the only girl, friends with a group of guys. They fawn over you, buy you food, take you places  in your car because you don't have one and will do pretty much whatever you say. It might be nice, but only for you. It's sounds great, right?? Well what you don't realize is that you are literally taking advantage of people and that is wrong. That is no way to treat someone.

3. Another bad idea (especially with Mormons), is dating any guy that asks you out. For anyone who is confused, let me spell it out to you..

You don't need to go out with someone just because they ask you out. You don't owe them anything, and it is your time that you are spending. We all have the choice, and if you decide to go out with them, you might ruin a friendship or even friendships. I have been asked out by several guys who I have turned down. We were able to keep our friendship platonic, just the way I like it!

Now, it's Storytime. I am keeping the name of the person out of this to protect their privacy, and this story will hopefully help some people out there understand why they are in their current situation.

 I have a friend (well many) who is struggling with keeping guy/girl friendships. She is friendly. She is nice. She is pretty, and she is flirty. What happens is that she meets a guy, but leaves no indication that they are just friends. The guy then asks her out, which she accepts. Later when she explains that they are just friends, he is let down, but still feels obligated to maintain the friendship because she still sees them as friends. Then, the cycle continues with every guy in the group, give or take a few of them. Do you see the pattern here? Eventually, they all start hanging out, but then she actually falls for one of the guys. He turns her down because he doesn't want the same thing that has happened with them, to happen to him. All of it could have been avoided if friends had stayed friends! I hate to see my friends go down this road, but I am all too familiar with this scenario after witnessing it so many times.

The moral of the story is this: too often, girls want the friendship, but aren't able to keep their hormones and emotions in check. When that happens you can miss out on some pretty great friendships! Don't be afraid to let loose and just enjoy a solid friendship WITHOUT THE FLIRTING! There must have been something that made you gravitate towards that person, right? :)

Happy friending, y'all.



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